Frequently Asked Questions
Questions we get asked a lot. Mostly by lawyers.
Is this legal?
We've been assured by someone who once watched an episode of Law & Order that yes, it probably is. We operate in a legal grey area that's more grey than area.
How long does the process take?
Typically 3-7 business days, depending on the size of your pet and whether Dave remembered to come into work. For rush orders, we can do it in 24 hours, but we take absolutely no responsibility for the results.
Can I choose the pose?
Absolutely! Popular choices include 'sitting,' 'lying down,' and 'looking at you with a vaguely accusatory expression.' We once had someone request 'doing a kickflip' and honestly, we're still working on that one.
Do you do exotic pets?
We've done cats, dogs, hamsters, birds, one iguana, and something we're pretty sure was a raccoon but the customer insisted was a dog. We draw the line at insects. Not for ethical reasons -- they're just really fiddly.
What if I'm not happy with the result?
You can submit a complaint to noreply@petstuffers.com. Our customer satisfaction rate is a number we've chosen not to calculate.
Is the process... humane?
The pet is already dead when we get it. We certainly hope so, anyway. We don't ask questions.
Can I visit the workshop?
No. Absolutely not. For legal, ethical, and olfactory reasons.
Do you offer a warranty?
We offer a 30-day 'it hasn't fallen apart yet' guarantee. After that, you're on your own. We recommend avoiding direct sunlight, moisture, small children, and large dogs.
Can you stuff my pet while it's still alive?
We get this question more than you'd think, and the answer is a firm no. Please seek help.
Do you ship internationally?
Yes, though customs has flagged our packages more than once. We now include a card that reads 'It's exactly what it looks like. Sorry.'